How To Approach Someone To Become Your Mentor by Justyna Kedra
Getting a mentor is a great way to learn from someone who is a subject matter expert and has “been there and done that”. Being a mentee of someone who you admire can also boost your morale, can help you navigate through tough situations as well as give you access to your mentor’s network. A lot of people claim to have mentors and always preach about how amazing they are, but what do you do when you never had an official mentor? What if the person you want to potentially mentor you is not in your network?
Here are a few questions and tips that helped me navigate getting my first few mentors:
1. What Kind of A Mentor Do You Need?
Choosing a mentor is the second step, but even before you find that one person to ask you need to be very clear about what kinds of experience this mentor needs to have to really help you. Is a CEO of a huge company the best because you can name drop them as a mentor? Often this is not the best option and not the best way to go about it.
First, think and analyze where you are in your career or venture now. Then, make a list of qualities or skills that would help you get to the next level. This means that you will need to find someone who could help you navigate the next year or two, but also someone who can see the big picture.
Sometimes getting someone who is more local and will be closer to your vision is better than a flashy name. Leave those for your advisory board.
2. How Can You Reach That Mentor?
Honestly, sometimes all it takes is a genuine email or a message on Linkedin to get someone’s attention. When reaching out to someone state clearly that you are looking to connect in hopes that they could become your mentor and make sure to mention what specifically you are looking for.
The better scenario here is if you know someone who they are familiar with. This creates an opportunity for a warm introduction and for someone to recommend you to this person.
If nothing else works… time to get creative! Did you think about sending them a handwritten letter to their office? You can often find this information online. Next idea? Attend an event they are speaking at or try to reach out to people that they know.
3. What If You Just Asked Them For Advice?
Sometimes a mentor-mentee relationship takes time to develop. There are many people out there who are not serious and waste people’s times. Not you, but many people ask for mentorship and then disappear. If you don’t feel comfortable asking someone to be your mentor directly, ask them for advice first.
Pro Tip: Don’t ask them for stuff you can easily google. I’ve done this before early in my career and it totally backfired. Ask them to go over your launch strategy or marketing strategy or if they can give you feedback on a grant application. Make it personal!
4. Did You Follow Up?
As a mentor myself to a few people out there it often happens that I give people advice, help them with a project and they just disappear into thin air. This won’t make you look unprofessional as we are all busy, but it could leave your mentor feeling like they didn’t do enough. At the end of the day we’re all just human and we want to help each other out.
If you mentor gave you companies to check out, people to connect with, list of things to get done or feedback — keep them posted on the progress. A simple email with an update or a text message is enough. You don’t need to write a whole book, but send them a little shout out if you connected with someone, got that book or are in the process of applying for that grant they recommended.
5. Is it For A Season Or For A Reason?
I categorize my mentors into 3 categories: 1) People who will meet with you regularly, 2) People who will meet with you here and there 3) People who you never met.
A mentor is not only someone who you meet with, but sometimes it could be someone on social media like an author, activist or a motivational speaker. These people you will meet later on or won’t be in touch as much.
For the people who met with you and gave you advice you have to decide if they will be with you for a season or forever. Ask them! If you vibe with someone and they gave you invaluable advice, ask them to meet regularly. They probably won’t reach out to you, so make sure you stay in touch!
Hope these tips helped you kickstart your mentor search! If you have any questions, please reach out to Justyna Kedra (justyna@newschool.edu)